Little brother's turn

This morning I was driving my three-year-old to preschool and as we turned the last corner, he exclaimed from the back seat, "That's my school! That's my school!" It was a cool moment, and not just because of his excitement about going to school.

His big brother David went to the same preschool for two years, and Grayson was always the tag-along. I hauled him in a stroller, or with my hand firmly gripped around his wrist, for many a drop-off and pick-up. More than once I had to drag him out of there bodily because he wanted so badly to stay and play with the toys. But it was always "David's school" and Grayson's turn would have to come later.

It's not always easy being the little brother. He has to watch his big brother do things and go places he can't. He has to sit on the sidelines and watch while David plays sports, sit out of the big boy classes at the Y, and stay home with mommy when David gets to go places he's too young to visit. Not that he gets the shaft all the time. But his awareness that David gets to do things he can't do has grown and he has an insatiable desire to be just like his big brother.

School started about a month ago and things have come full circle for my little man. This morning he showed how much his school means to him, in that it is HIS. He doesn't call it "David's school" anymore, but always "my school," or "Grayson's school." He runs in the door each time, finds the box with his name and picture and deposits his coat and backpack like a pro. Then he's off to the tables with toys spread out for free play, without so much as a glance in my direction. That is his time, his chance to be the big boy without the shadow of his big brother.

Not that he minds that particular shadow most of the time. But I love that he is getting old enough for it to be his turn for the big boy stuff. I can tell it means a lot to him.

Halloween Season

Hallween is a big deal in our house. Ever since David was about 3, he's been a HUGE fan of Halloween. I think the only reason Christmas beats it out as his holiday of choice is the presents (despite our attempts to emphasize the REAL Christmas, he is a kid and presents are pretty awesome).

Now that we're well into October, the countdown to Halloween has begun. I made an impromptu Halloween countdown to hang on the wall (simply a page of orange construction paper and black squares where they can put stickers for each day). This will, hopefully, cut down on the number of times I am asked "When is Halloween?" At least David can go to the countdown chart and count the blank squares.

This year we're all about Star Wars in this house (and Legos, but that's a whole other post). David will be going as Boba Fett, the bounty hunter who captures Han Solo in Empire Strikes Back. How do little boys all seem to know who Boba Fett is? He appears in the movie so briefly, and I don't recall ever knowing he actually had a name. But boys seem to gravitate to him. I think it has something to do with his jet pack. Jet packs are pretty sweet.

Grayson will be Darth Vader, which is utterly ridiculous in it's cuteness. The best part is that he says "Dark Mater," so our neighbors are sure to be greeted by a masked three-year-old exclaiming, "I'm Dark Mater!" And he does the breathing sound really well too.

Even Miss Ella will be in on the Star Wars action. I originally planned to dress her in something ridiculously girly involving tutus and lots of sparkle, but I couldn't resist the coordinating costumes - so she'll be playing the part of Princess Leia. They actually make a baby Leia costume, with a hat that is made to resemble the dinner roll hairdo. I don't know how long she'll actually wear the hat before ripping it off to chew on it, but if I can manage a picture or two, it will be worth it.

I have to admit, I love Halloween too. Our neighborhood is really festive - lots of houses decorate and some go all out. There is a house up the street from us that does a huge homemade banner over their entire front porch every year. This year it is a ghoul holding a flaming-eyed pumkin. They mak a tunnel to their front door, so only the bravest of kids will venture inside to get their candy. My boys, young as they are, have yet to bat an eyelash. If I walk through the dark, foggy tunnel I get candy? I'm on it.

A good mommy day

I had a great mom day today. And after the weekend we had, I needed it.

I won't go into the gory details of what made our weekend so particularly awful. Let's just say it involved a husband recovering from surgery, a little boy with an ear infection, a little girl waking at all hours and up for the day long before the sun and a mommy with a severe, and as yet undiagnosed infection in her upper jaw/lower sinus as well as a very adverse reaction to vicodin. And very little sleep.

Today I was feeling much more like myself, and managed to get a lot done this morning to help the house recover from my illness. Because if you're a mom, you know how insane the house gets when you're out of commission. It's ridiculous.

This afternoon I took the kids on a nature walk. There's a trail through a rather narrow greenbelt across the street from our house. It isn't exactly the deep woods, but it's close and offers enough in the way of pinecones, leaves and sticks that the boys like it. The boys carried plastic bags to load their treasures, and I carried the Bean (aka my daughter) on my back. We wandered around, looked at things on the ground and looked up to see where they might have come from. We picked up leaves and examined their color. We found sticks with moss, and found trees with more moss growing on the trunks. We found tiny mushrooms, and the boys got a lesson in never, ever eat anything you find growing on the ground in the woods. We saw a tree that had fallen, only to sprout a new trunk growing straight up out of the bent part. We talked about evergreens and deciduous trees and David was delighted to learn a new fact to amaze grown ups with.

We got home and they proudly showed their finds to Daddy, who was working from home. Then they drew pictures, telling the story of their day.

David drew the half fallen tree that looked "like a rainbow," ferns and rocks on the ground, and two little figures with bags full of leaves and branches in their hands.

Grayson's was a little more abstract, but he is three. He told us all about what his scribbles meant, so the intent was there.

Ella wandered around the dining room playing with her sippy cup and a pan lid, occassionally peeking up over the table to see what her brothers were doing.

It was a totally random idea, and it went so well, it made me feel a little like supermom.

Then after dinner, the boys wandered outside as I made orange popcorn balls. They noticed something in the sky, so we went out to investigate and after conferring with my astronomy expert (aka, my mom), we think it's Jupiter. So we talked about the differences between stars and planets, and why they look the same in the sky. Then we looked up pictures of Jupiter, and various other planets and astronomical things on the Internet. I think David may be developing a new fascination with space and astronomy, but we'll see. The kid loves to learn how things work and why - he's a little scientist already.

All in all, a good mommy day. Goodness knows on this crazy journey, they aren't always this way. But this one certainly made up for the awful weekend, so I'll take it!

Potty Training

Potty training is not my favorite part of childhood. Once they are solidly potty trained, it is great. Changing a baby's poopy diaper is one thing, but the horrific mess that is a toddler's poopy diaper is quite another. So once they are competent at using the potty and don't have to go every 30 minutes in order to keep dry, it's pretty nice. It's getting there that I don't like.

We're working with Grayson on going potty, but it's been slow going. We've been through this before, but every kid is different and the things that worked so well with David aren't so effective with Grayson. He pulls the stickers off his sticker chart and throws them on the floor (not sure why), he argues with me about the two Skittles he is supposed to get after going pee on the potty, and so far the promise of various treats and rewards for finally pooping on the potty haven't motivated him in the least.

Fortunately, he's able to initiate going potty some of the time and we had a trial run in underwear last week that went pretty well. Since then I haven't been able to convince him to wear underwear again, but today I insisted. He was upset for a while, and I let him stay naked and throw his fit. Then I offered some Wall-E underwear and that turned the tide. Unfortunately, the package only has one pair of Wall-E, so if he insists on them again tomorrow I'll have some more convincing to do. But hopefully we'll be able to get through the next few days without too much mess, or too much fuss.

He's supposed to be potty trained when he starts preschool and that is rapidly approaching. We have about 5 1/2 weeks until the big day, and although technically they'll let him come in a pull up if he still needs it, I'd really rather not. So I guess it's time we start trying a little harder to make this potty thing happen.

I do have to wonder if the cashier at Target found it funny last week when I bought two packages of toddler sized underwear and a bottle of carpet cleaner labeled "Kids and Pets". Hmmm, what am I going to be up to the next few weeks.

Camping, take one

This weekend we attempted our first ever camping trip with kids. We used to love camping, back in the days when that meant IM'ing each other at work on Friday with a, "Yeah, let's go camping this weekend!" Then loading up the car with a handful of stuff, arriving at a campground after dark and not caring in the least, and sleeping in the next morning well after the birds started chirping.

This was a far cry from the pre-kid days. I spent several days planning and an entire day organizing and packing. You always have to take a bunch of stuff camping - after all, you're essentially bringing all your basic needs, including shelter. But kids take it to a whole new level. And we don't just have kids - we have three, ages 5, 3 and 11 months. Are we crazy? Maybe just a little.

The weather forecast was iffy, but we decided not to scrap our plans. Our good friends were planning to join us at the state park, docking their boat there. And my dad and brother had an adjoining campsite. The first night went well. We arrived and set up camp, got a fire going and had the requisite toasted marshmallows and such. We let the kids stay up way too late, and we had quite a bit of trouble sleeping once we finally went to bed. The thing with the first camping trip in about 6 years is that you work out the kinks and realize what you need to do differently next time. On that list are new sleeping bags for me and the hubs - we were freezing. Add to that a few wake ups by Miss Bean and Grayson coughing for about 2 hours, sleep was in short supply.

Around 3 am the rain started. We knew rain was possible, but it seemed like it might rain a little, but not torrential downpours. When the kids woke around 7 (and we'd slept a little in between), it was still raining. We decided to go out to breakfast, instead of getting soaked outside and by the time we got back, it was down to a light drizzle. We figured we could stick it out, and decided to stay - at least for a while. The rain actually stopped, and we managed a trip down to the beach and the boys got to do some fishing with Grandpa. Ella took a good nap and we thought we'd at the very least stay through dinner, and then decide if we wanted to pack it in early or spend another night.

Then the rain started again. And didn't stop. The middle part of the day had been filled with short drizzly bursts of rain that stopped as quickly as they started. This rain started, and didn't stop. And still didn't stop. And then got harder. By about 3:30 I knew we were done, so I started packing our stuff.

I'm a bit disappointed that the weather cut our trip short, but overall I actually feel really good about it. If we can survive camping in the rain with a 5 year old, a 3 year old and an 11 month old - heck, we can do anything! More than anything, this felt like a test run to see if our kids are camp-able, and this certainly was the ultimate test. They did awesome. David and Grayson had a blast playing in the woods around the campsite and Ella was her usual magic-baby self. All in all, I'd say the weekend was a success.

And I'm not going to lie, I'm really looking forward to sleeping in my bed tonight.

Library

We went to the library today. I know, alert the media, right? I slack off on writing anything for ages, and I sit down to write about the library? Well, one has to start somewhere.

I used to take D to the library all the time, particularly when he was my one and only, but on into G's babyhood. We went to storytimes, and often went just to pick out books to borrow. You know, normal library stuff. And then G got mobile. Let's just say G is not a library kind of kid. He can't sit still for very long, he doesn't particularly like looking at books (a concept which both astounds and alarms me, being an avid reader since, well, since I could read), and he lacks the self control required to use a quiet voice, at least for very long.

Still, I want to make library trips a regular part of our routine, at least for the summer. With D out of preschool (that's a whole other post!), I'd like to find at least a few activities we can do rain or shine that will build some regularity into our week. We all function better when we have a few things planned to get us out of the house.

So off to the library we went. D is well versed in library etiquette, but G got the 3-year-old version - no running, listen to Mommy, and use a quiet voice. As he ran in the doors, exclaiming, "Where's books!" at the top of his lungs, I knew it was going to be a short visit.

D was happy to browse the shelves, although I think he got a little overwhelmed with all the choices. But it didn't take long before he had a few picked out. G, on the other hand, after grabbing a few things off the shelves, only to abandon them on the floor, bee-lined for the little play area next to the window. Another little boy, who looked to be about the same age and of similar temperment, was already playing. The two of them managed to get each other riled up, despite both myself and his mom doing our best to keep them quiet. On the playground, those two would have been a lot of fun to watch together; at the library they were a recipe for disaster. Fortunately for me, they left shortly after we arrived.

The rest of the visit was what I expected it to be - ok, overall, but a little hectic. I had to keep G from running around while trying to help D look for a dinosaur book (and we never did find what he wanted), while holding Miss E because she decided she was bored in the stroller. I should have known on that last count; next week I'll just sling her. She's always happier when she's being carried.

I'm going to have to get creative to think of ways to get G more interested in reading. At home, we tend to just let it go (aka, give up) and not read to him very much. It's tough when he won't sit with you to read, and forcing him obviously doesn't do any good (nor do I want to make it a chore that he learns to dislike). He ended up chosing a Disney Cars comic book, which I'll attempt to read with him. We may be onto something there; if I can find a few Nemo, Wall-E and Cars books, we might get him to read a little more.

I think the key to library trips with my zoo is to make it short and sweet. Get in, pick a few books, play in the play area for a few minutes, and jet out of there. Hopefully this will do more to encourage D's reading, and instill at least an interest in books for G.

Worlds Apart

Recently my husband and I decided to sponsor a child through WorldVision. It is something we've considered doing in the past, but for one reason or another (mostly my procrastination and shameful lack of generosity) we didn't. Recently, my husband came home and said, "We need to sponsor a child through WorldVision!" Thank goodness for that man. Without him, I shudder to think how limited my generosity would be. It's something I'm working on.

How does one choose a child? Out of the literally millions of poor, impoverished and hungry children in the world, how do you choose one? We decided to choose a child with the same birthday as our oldest son, with the hope and plan that we'll soon add two more, also sharing birthdays with our other two kids. It seemed as good criteria as any we could come up with.

So I searched the website for a boy with my son's birthday. And we found Thapelo.

He is five years old, living in Lisotho, in southern Africa. It's a country devastated by the AIDS epidemic. Entire communities have been devastated by the disease, leaving children orphaned, farms unplanted, food in short supply. His profile lists his health as "satisfactory," whatever that actually means. He lives with his mother, two sisters and a brother.

I don't even know her name, but I think of Thapelo's mother often. We share a bond of motherhood, made just a tiny bit more special because we labored and delivered a child on the same day. Her joy was my joy. Except each morning, I get up and go to my well stocked refrigerator and pull out fresh eggs. I take out bread and pop it in the toaster, and pour a cup of fresh, cold milk. I hand my son a healthy breakfast as I prepare to send him off to preschool, and most days I don't even think twice about it.

I have no idea what she has to feed her son.

I think of her often. While I worry about whether we'll have to miss picture day for D's baseball team, does she worry about whether she'll be able to feed her children that day? While I fill out forms to register D for his free education, does she worry about whether her son will ever learn to read? Or how she'll pay for his school uniform?

I do feel good that we are going to begin helping them with our sponsorship. I have faith that this organization is, and will continue, to do good in their community, and Thapelo and his mother will benefit. I hope to receive news that he gets to go to school someday... that his community has a source of safe, clean drinking water... that they have enough to eat. I don't know how much is possible through that measly little $35 we send each month, but I hope it is something. I hope it helps ease the burden Thapelo's mother must feel every day.

I live with the joy of knowing my children are not going to go hungry, will be cared for when they are sick, and have every opportunity to grow and thrive. She does not. Each day I need to strive to remember how lucky I am, how lucky we are. And pray for sweet little Thapelo and his family. It is, quite literally, the least we can do.